 Ask
Roxanne
Q:
Hi! I am a Norwegian
mom and i was browsing the net for some information regarding lactation.
Well to tell u in short,
I leak milk when doing sex
with my partner. Is there any way to stop it? Whenever i feel aroused it
just squirts out. And also i have a confession to make -- i dont know how
other moms think of it but i always get
sexually excited
when nursing
the baby. Is it normal for moms to feel that way? Please advice soon.
Amanda
Norway
A:
Dear Amanda,
Okay, this is a
good one. This question points up one of the things that freaks us
puritanical Americans out regarding breastfeeding, and that is, if it
feels that kinda good, shouldn't it be done with your husband? (We'll
address the leaking issue in a minute.)
In
fact, I'm not entirely sure your letter is from a real mother and not some
devotee of Jerry Springer's episode on lactating strippers. But I'll
answer, because I think a lot of moms (and moms to be) have the same
question, if not the same feelings.
Breastfeeding, the
actual act of one's milk ducts being compressed in order to produce food
for one's offspring (gee, hon, it sounds sooo sexy when *you* say it),
should feel good, so that we do it. In other words, when it makes you
scream in pain, you're likely to toss that newborn away if you're foraging
in the bush and there are no formula marketeers in your hunter/gatherer
group. It feels especially good for most moms because of their release of
oxytocin, which used to give me, nursing my first baby, a buzz not unlike
that first wonderful glass of a full-bodied red wine (which I no longer
drink since I'm a mama).
Three
and a half years later, I'm such an oxytocin junkie that I don't notice
when it's there, only when it's not. When Cameron cut back from nursing
all the time to hardly at all, I got a little weepy. As for the physical,
just like in sex, some people feel every feeling quite intensely, others
hardly at all. The erogenous zones are, like our faces and personalities,
unique. So some women do feel stimulated, while I, for example, feel,
well, nothing. (Perhaps I should speak to my doctor). Here's what my
favourite breastfeeding expert, author Janet Tamaro (click
here to get her book,
So That's
What They're For)
has to say about having, say, an orgasm while nursing: "Don't panic ...
Your brain has just secreted a hormone that is telling your body to feel
good. This does not make you a child molester, and it doesn't make
breastfeeding immoral. ... It's not that likely, so try not to worry about
it or let it stand in the way of a comfortable breastfeeding relationship
with your baby." In other words, take that good feeling, and use it on
your partner. From your letter, it doesn't sound like you're turned on by
your baby, only by nursing. After baby goes to sleep, you can share the
wealth with hubby. Which comes to the other part of your question. If you
nurse or pump before you have sex, that could help stop the leakage. So
could pressing your arms against your breasts when you start to feel
letdown. Or you could just go with the flow and have sex in the shower and
swimming pool or on a towel to deal with the extra. You're perfectly
normal. (Which may be the only answer you were looking for.) Albeit
blessed with quite an abundance of milk. Contact a milk bank and see if
you'd be a good donor!
Hope I
was helpful!
Regards,
Roxanne
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